bum of the joke

just quickly

eugh im so frustrated that i can't keep up with who i've told what. all this technology! phone, sms, skype, email, facebook and this blog have me completely confused as to what i've said here and what i've said to someone in particular some other way. it's very stressful as im sure you can image... maybe no? 

anyway when i was saying to nicole yesterday 'ah he is really sick, you know how he was having an obnoxious conversation on the phone in the office (in the middle of all the other female staff) and asking his friend what flavour lip gloss the girls had on their nipples the other night... to which she replied WHAT? and i realised the trouble i was having sharing my stories properly. 

ah just you wait when i get home im going to drop so many inappropriate/bizarre work stories without even realising you don't know what i'm on about...i imagine. 

ok so here is a quick and snappy list of things happening in my life at the moment 

- our office phone has been cut off since my boss wont pay his bill, he is complaining and 'sticking it to the man' unsuccessfully - we just look stupidly unproffesional and i dont think the phone company minds too much. oh he has also been threatening to sue them. makes for entertaining listening when im trying to work, my boss describing all the lawsuits coming their way to someone who clearly has no idea who he is or why he is yelling.

- for the upcoming issue we're writing a food feature on food at touristy venues so tomorrow and monday we're off to the themeparks to try everything and then spew it back up on the rides. woo hoo! 

- mum is coming to visit on friday morning, yasmine is sleeping over thursday night and i expect we will be in no state to greet her let alone go to work.

- i threw a tanty at work today cause sneaky yasmine wouldnt come with me to an indian restuarant for the restaurant reviews section of the magazine. we have to do 12 an issue so time is a stretch but schemer over there somehow always manages to convince me to come with her but then is always to busy to come on mine. oh well, i have revenge planned, on friday when we're feeling terrible she has an appointment at a thai restuarant with a very very enthusastic pr girl. she thinks i will come but i will leave her high and dry. well that is the plan, chances are i will be dying to get out of the office and jump at the chance to devour pad thai. mmmmmm

- two down. im not actually sure if this was on here or not already but my boss has a nasty streak (hadn't noticed?) anyway he is a massive bully and always finds out what to use to hurt you... naturally i'm five steps ahead when it comes to psycho babble and ive taken to arguing with him. he actually doesn't seem to mind. i think he quite enjoys it actually. anyway yasmine is onto it now but a few weeks ago he caught her unawares early on a monday morning sitting her down to an hour chat about all her personal flaws. aside from informing her that she will never get a job in belgium due to the recession and helping her by telling her that while she is working at 60% if she wants any chance at success in her chosen field she will have to work $200 he also said that had he hired her she would be fired by now. thanks. anyway that's sorted now, she is fully on top of everything so that he cant fault her again... 

it was kony's turn today. not sure exactly what he said but it was something about her being in the wrong major and how she doesn't have the capacity... something like that. the poor girl has only done one year at uni and yet he's using her to create ads for company's paying him to make and then display their ads... well mr boss isn't very articulate and tells kony bizarre and vague ideas he has for the add. she works like a crazy person (well at least more than me) and then surprise surprise she has missed the point and it doesn't match the idea in his head.  

unlike yasmine she isnt being assessed and doesnt have to be here. like me? oh well, i see the light at the end of the tunnel, 17 more work days. woo. but i hope she doesn't leave, she is really fun. 

-oh i got to drive dads car the other night, only like 10ks but still it was stressful as. the trafic here is hard to predict. people dont indicate and just nose-in infront of you... really ahve to pay attention. ah well. done and done. it was pretty fun. 

oh whoops, this was meant to be a list. 

anyway, i've gotten back into tv in a pretty big way (for me anyway) saw gossip girl finale tonight - teary eyes at the end. tragic i know. cant wait for australias next top model tomorrow night oh and spooks. that vampire show -true blood is terrible but such an easy one to watch. oh and the kids movies haha. wow i should stop before you all realise how uncool i am. 

i think its time for my detective novel now. night x

lots of racing ahead and dragging along

although right now the thought of writing another one of these things makes me feel unbelievably tired i figure i may as well do it now while i watch urban legends, giving me an excuse to look away in the scary bits. whoops couldn't look away and now i have tingly skin.. and dads asleep. scary, huh? 

it's all really confusing at the moment, i cant wait to come home but i dont want to wish away the time i have left here, i have really enjoyed it and the longer im here the more i really feel at home in this city. i wouldnt mind coming back to work here. it really is great. 

But im also really looking forward to feeling clean back in melbourne, even if i dont shower there for a couple of days it isnt like this. here my skin always feels slimy or super dry from the aircon. not fun. another thing i miss is nailpolish. i havent been wearing it here which does make me feel a bit naked. actually, after this (and urban legends) i will go and put some on.  

so this issue of the magazine is frustrating because instead of production taking two weeks it is taking three this time around just to balance total magazine out put for the year. massive pain because it confuses everything for us and all the people that regularly deal with the magazine.im relieved that i only have another 24 restaurants + food feature places to go to before i finish. my poor poor waistline. 

last night we went to an ice cream launch party which sadly did not provide alcohol but never mind, there was ice cream and some really fun people. there was harry from london and coco pop the number one dragqueen in hong kong. all in all two of the more enlightening people i've met here so far. afterwards we guiltily lit up disapointed to not be drunk already. then we bumped into this guy rayphil we met, totally nuts guy who started talking to us outside the supermarket. he told yasmine she should be a model and then shared his own modeling history, enjoyable for both i imagine... haha.  

 

then we popped into the shops, deciding not to go out and i bought some zip earring. fun for the whole family! 

and then we saw some brilliant advertising/marketing/whatever it falls under - brilliant!! 

finally a fun night out of dancing. a-trak is here on thursday so we got four free tickets to dance the night away. im so excited. there are lots of fun events coming up, the week after there is also the DJ Magazine China launch party and cocopops drag queen show which i think were going to. lots of seedy days ahead at the office. cant wait. thaithai hangover cures will have to be reinviented cause i dont have anyone as comfortable as caroline to lie on and there arent any of those soft water bottles here. also the juices arent quite the same. but i have found some good fresh juices around the corner from the office. 

last week yasmine made me venture into these bird parks on the hottest day of the year so far. it took freaking hours and at the first one, after we visited the aviary she insisted that there was another one there where you can walk in amongst the birds, it sounded like torture to me but we walked for ages sweating a lot trying to find it until some helpful guy told us we were at the wrong park. eugh. horrible day, especially when you take into account my dislike of birds. 

another thing to get me through the days ahead is the latest frankie which mum sent up with dad today. it really has made me happy. ahh this movie really is horrible. so many gruesome scenes. its the one at the moment where she is on that ride where you go through the tunnel and there are all the dead bodies and shit... you know... 

any way 4 more weeks at the magazine and then another two of freedom. maybe dad will come to beijing with me for a week? i'll ask him in the morning when he isnt as angry at me for my hour long phone call to rosie (he doesn't know about the second yet) and then a 30 minute one with stobes, silly girls who cant use skype getting me in trouble!   

mum is coming next week i think, i got tickets to hofesh shechter so im going to make her come with me to that. Also im desperate to do some winter shopping at lane crawford's last season outlet. you know how it is here... if it is not brand new its impossible to sell. winter shopping galore for me!

my hairdresser is going to kill me. my hair is so long and ratty they will want to chop it all off in punishment. so i'm thinking of hacking my hair short for winter. 

dad is back so now the house isn't as lonesome but he is very grumpy so that is a bit of a downer. plus there is nothing on tv. urban legends is over so now i'm channel surfing again. ok relocated to my room, thank goodness we now have wireless internet, it was torture without it! i think i will rock it old school in a sec and write about my feelings and shit in my journal. haha journal i cant believe how much ive actually written in it. 

but you know, i really love this city. it feels so safe and open to new things. and people work really hard but they really have fun too. i think the best thing about this internship is that it really forces you to meet different people doing different things. and wow, there are so many people doing such cool things. and that was a really wanky sentence, i should probably delete it cause i can imagine teasing emails and if not you all rolling your eyes at the computer screen. 

i know there is something i wanted to say but im forgetting what it was. ah annoying. im glad i get back once uni assignments and exams are over though, that means no one has any excuse not to be fun, even you no money/no time caroline. 

im actually getting a bit loopy listening to too much tegan and sara, not good for my health im sure. 

oh well miss you all, will see you all too soon (and then probably want to escape you all!!) 

love kisses etcetera...

simple arithmetic

so this is how i am seeing the time until i come home, friday is a deadline for this issue. then there is 3 weeks until the next issue (balancing total magazine output for the year) then there is two more then yasmine and wingwing are off and a final two for good luck. then i'm done. to reiterate 3days+3weeks+2weeks+2weeks and i will probably be home... if not i will at least be freeeee! 

ok, drama from last weekend is sorted. thank goodness - i really wasnt looking forward to begging dad to let me stay when i would really love to see you all... but it is fine. some boat bonding saved the day as usual. dad is away this week and next so i have the house to myself. think of the space!

oh yasmine thinks our boss had a hooker in the office last week. pretty much made my life worth living when she told me that.. there was a secret handshake involved in the office exchange, oh and the lady in question brought medicine? she was dressed in something leaving little to the imagination and i could be getting carried away but maybe even shiny... very strange all round but we're in that sort of an area so it really is what you should expect.

more work news... keeping on top of work this issue which is a major development... i think i am surprising everyone! even my self when my article this week came back from the editor in nz with hardly any corrections, it made me very happy as normally it is very fixed. 

all the food here is literally killing me. i've never eaten so much in my whole life, even at tok camp! since there is neither time nor dedication for the gym i have been devising my own exercise regime involving 60 agonising situps, an eclectic mix of yoga moves and old skool ballet stretches and when i can muster the energy 40 minutes at the absolute most on the treadmill. ahh torture! 

blast from the past -  jake laderman just tagged me in that freaking photo of me macking a small child at julius'... at least i wasn't 18 yet.. i suppose it will console you all to know that i have horribly hairy legs. it is very difficult in this hot weather but im still managing to shave them as least often as possible. 

Nose Piercing Saga

well i took it out the other night cause i had a cold and i wont go into icky details as much as i would love to i doubt if i need to give you any further reasons to stop being my friends... 

so after minutes and minutes of struggle to get it out (should have been a sing) it came out and i betadined the shit out of it... 

next morning waste 30 mins and am outrageously later than usual to work... 

then i googled what to do in such a situation and the internet suggested repiercing with an earring since they are straighter than nose rings.. 

so i did that and after some blood and tears it was done. 

but the nose one still wont go in... 

so now im sleeping with the ladybug in my nose everynight, genius - i know. 

i keep trying to get it back in and i was trying again on the boat over the weekend... anyway i gave up and went to bed and left it in the bathroom.. turns out it fell down the sink. and this is where you should all be very impressed.. it wouldn't come out with tweezers or these boatmapdistancemeasuring devices or anything. lucky i have such ingenuity.. 

i used my materials (toilet paper and toothpaste) to solve the problem. cause the nose ring is so skinny it kept falling out of my grip so i stuck toothpastey toilet paper to it and then i had something to grab hold of and maneuver.. brilliant- i know! 

today was an epic fail, we are writing a food feature on this particular type of food that is only really eaten at a festival. so we went on the buss to where the festival is held and lo and behold no one even makes it there but they were helpful enough to suggest where we can find it - in the suburb our office is in!!! so instead we sat on a bench drank/ate a coconut and enjoyed the lovely whether. 

i foresee a lot of stress in the next three days but thank goodness the weekend isnt too far around the corner!! 

love yas miss yas (yasmine's brother thinks all australians are called bruce and live in the sticks so i am embracing my inner bogan (but)! ) xx